Far Cry 3: Real Life Review

30 May

Far Cry 3:

Platform: PC, Xbox 360, PS3

Released: 2012

Age certificate: 18+

the GFGirlfriend test

(This tests how much freedom the game gives you to turn it off and go do the laundry. The test considers how much the game allows you to play for an indeterminable amount of time while your girlfriend does her make-up. It also rates how important sound is – will your girlfriend’s hairdryer or music be the matter of life and death for your character?)

Far Cry 3 is given an OK in the girl friend test. If you are given an indefinite amount of time to play while she gets ready to go out you can fire up your game and complete an activity or two. Most activities such as hunting or assassinations are great fun, highly addictive and can only take about 5 minutes. You can turn it off halfway through any activity without much regret.

Some of the main missions take a long time and they can get pretty tricky and you sure wouldn’t want to have to turn off your console to help with the laundry. It can sometimes take a fair while to travel across the map to get to a mission, and if your girl friend wanted you to turn the game off and pay you attention when you have just got to a mission start, you may consider ignoring her and paying for the consequences. As the game is so pretty you wont really mind repeating tasks.

The game is hard to play if your girlfriend is playing loud music or making too much noise of any kind. You are often relying on hearing a tiger growl or a pirate shout to give you time to react. If you are playing in the wilderness you may struggle without sound. The missions are easy enough as they are usually linear so you can guess where enemies are, and subtitles are accurate so you wont miss out on the script.

Score: 7/10

Girl friend: “Can you help me take the rubbish out?”

Me: “Well, I can now a tiger bit me head off while I was speaking to you.”

Far Cry 3 does OK in the girl friend test. You can pause at any time and save anywhere. It is annoying if you have to turn off half way through a mission but as the game is pretty easy and it is so beautiful you actually want to redo scenes it does not matter too much.

mate emblemMate test

(You are playing the game and your housemate walks in and apart from Fifa they are uneducated in gaming. This test is a mix of the coolness rating, pick-up-and-play-ability, and most importantly: same console multiplayer. Anything that could be called ‘gayyyyy’ loses points in this test.)


Far Cry 3 will confuse the classic non-gaming housemate when they see you walking through a jungle. They will ask questions like “is it a hunting game?” and “are you on holiday?” and they may even ask if you are playing Call of Duty. You will find such answers hard to answer, as they are all slightly true. Before your patience gives in and you start playing Fifa you should try out multiplayer.

The co-op multiplayer mode is great. The characters are completely separate from the main story mode (no spoilers) and it forms a fun, co-operative and competitive multiplayer game. A mate can pick up and play as the controls are standard for a first person shooter. One problem for an unseasoned gamer is that enemies are accurate from very long distances so you may find it hard explain that a red pixel on the screen is an enemy sniper. Far Cry 3 tried to make the multiplayer characters a bit too ‘hard’ for my liking so I found the opening video a bit awkward to sit through.

If you do not possess a second controller, your mate has no hands, your mate has no gaming abilities, you do not want to share your game, or for any other reason your mate will  have to sit and watch you play then don’t expect to hold their attention for too long. You mate will initially be impressed with the stunning visuals and the dramatics of the first few melee kills but after that it is actually quite boring to watch. Most of the fun of Far Cry 3 comes from slow, stealthy gameplay and leveling up your character. If you attempt to take it in turns to go on rampages you will get bored fast as enemies will stop spawning and they are pretty easy to kill.

Score: 8/10

Mate: “Cool game, can I play?

Me: “Yes, but only if you promise to play until I have all the achievements.”

A solid co-op mode leads to hours of fun providing your mate has some skills in first person shooters.

 The Parent TestParent test

(Imagine you have parents that are easily offended – especially by sexual themes and swearing; and at random intervals they invade your room.)

Drugs, drug induced hallucinations, a brief bit of nudity and a shed load of swearing. It actually doesn’t do too badly in the parent test if they have a tolerance for the words fuck and shit. An average moment will see you shooting pirates, driving a pleasant jeep with a bobble head hula girl on the dashboard, stabbing pirates, trampling through some ferns and falling into a stream, and shooting pirates.

There are some really messed up scenes that shouldn’t really be in a game. Make sure no family member unfamiliar with games is in the house when you play the final mission. I mean it –one of the options is really psychologically messed up. Any of the scenes involving Vaas are unsettling, particularly the pile of corpses moment. Don’t get me wrong, I loved them, but they could freak out your granny big time.  There are some whacky moments involving ‘shrooms and weed but they are more weird than inoffensive.

If you muted the sound to block swearing you could probably get away with playing the majority of the game in front of your grandparents as long as they are OK with witnessing you constantly murdering pirates or skinning innocent animals. Some missions get pretty freak but they are not really a problem.

Score: 6/10

“Your computer man needs to have his mouth washed out.”

There is a lot of foul mouthing and some dark themes running through the game, but if anyone walks in you can pretend you are playing a ‘holiday game’.

inner rage emblemThe Inner Rage Test

(You have had a bad day and you want to feel a sense of achievement. This section talks about how frustrating them game is.)


Far Cry 3 is nice and easy for anyone familiar with first person shooters. Weapons you get later on make short work of the higher-level enemies. You should bare in mind the game is much easier if you use stealth and cover occasionally, otherwise the enemies can make short work of you. If you do end up dying on a mission you will be frustrated as the checkpoints are unnecessarily few and far between. There are several missions where there are infinitely respawning enemies, so if you are used to taking out enemies one at a time you will soon have to get used to breaking cover and running for it.

There were a few missions where you must remain undetected or where there is a time limit, which I always find very frustrating. Luckily for me I just ran straight through such missions and happened to not get spotted, or I died and somehow spawned further ahead, but I somehow don’t think that is how you are supposed to play.

If you are a hardcore FPS fan you will get annoyed when a tiger sneaks up on you and one hit kills you but generally the wildlife does not play such a large part in the main missions.

There were a few drug related scenes which I did not have the patience for where you have to walk along looking at the pretty colours. You had to continually be walking forward in these scenes which to me just made them passive-aggressive videos. If I was not killing pirates then I did not feel I was achieving anything.

Score: 7/10

If players can adapt their strategy to fight different types of enemy, then Far Cry 3 is a pretty easy game to play. A few missions towards the end get unnecessarily hard, but luckily you can counteract the difficulty by sprinting towards a checkpoint so enemies stop spawning.

scale emblemOverall

(I briefly rate games on a number of factors such as graphics, storyline, entertainment and longevity irrespective of the other tests.)

Far Cry 3 is  the best game I have played in the last year. I am fed up of brown games like COD, Gear of War, Skyrim, etc and I love the lush, exotic environments of Far Cry 3 where you feel everything is alive and ready to eat you. Part of you wants to escape the island and the other part wants to set up beach resort. The environments are repetitive, sure there are plenty of trees and rock but you never notice the same twin rock elsewhere. The storyline is fantastic and Vaas is the best character I have seen in a game for a long while. You gradually connect with the main character as he starts to love the island more than his selfish friends. The gameplay is solid and surprisingly void of bugs.

Score: 10/10

When the game ends you are just left wanting more.


3 Responses to “Far Cry 3: Real Life Review”

  1. reallifegamereview June 3, 2013 at 7:43 am #

    Hello! Thank you for your message, it means a lot at this early stage and that was very pleasant to read while drinking a cup of tea in the morning. I am very happy about your ‘uncanny feeling’ because I have it too; many of my friends are surprised no one has written anything like this and my girlfriend says it is the best guide she has read (a bit biased I think!) Please keep checking up. I hope to write one every few days based on games I have already played (my memory is good for games), so if you have any requests forward them on to me. Out of interest: what is your favourite review so far?

  2. Soopa Fly October 9, 2013 at 5:24 am #

    dude these reviews are pretty great, and far cry 3 is one of my top five favorite games, ever. i love how you break up your reviews between mates, rage, gf, and parents. covers all the bases. ill be putting this site in my bookmarks for sure!

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